If I were a journalist

So you’d think the much hyped* fish and chips of New Zealand would be something to write home about. I can’t deny that, like with most foods, I set my standards high. Fish and chips are no exception. The family unit has been known to drive extra mileage just to visit particular, much worshipped, fish and chip shops back in Britain.

Upon trying a fair amount of fish and chip shops in New Zealand, I think I have a fair representation of what they are about. My conclusion is there are two very offensive things about fish and chips NZ-style. Both of which Kiwis seem to live in ingorance of how utterly wrong and unjust these offences are.

1) Salt and vinegar. A basic life force of the classic British fish and chips. Not here, nope. Often trying to get vinegar is like asking if they serve deep fried caviar. No one has asked me yet if I’d like “salt and vinegar”. It’s always plain old salt, oodles of it and nobody ever asks if I want it or not. Fish and chip culture here is an assumption.

2) The chips. This is the real clincher and irredeemable feature of New Zealand Fish and Chips. As any Brit knows all fish and chip shops make their own chips and I think it would be fair to say if they don’t, by most peoples standards, they’re not really a fish and chip shop. Getting the perfect chip is nothing short of an art form when you take into account the cut, the oil, the frying time and love that goes into that dear potato.

So, what do New Zealand fish and chip shops do? They use frozen chips. Never have I visited anywhere yet, in New Zealand, that makes their own chips from scratch. Quite simply, it’s a travesty.

* Only by locals. Like with most things, they are seemingly unaware anyone else even makes fish and chips. In fact, I think most of them probably think they invented it.